Neologism - Words are so fun

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

Words - thought for today

If we take words and catch phrases out of our common history - what would they mean?
Today's example:
star-struck
–adjective
captivated by famous people or by fame itself.
[Origin: 1960–65]
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006

New Definition from the Andrea's Brain and Strange Thought Processes Dictionary:
Struck by a star or star-struck.
verb - to strike with a star

noun - one who is struck by a star
Those individuals who are star-struck:
1. have a heck of a lawsuit (especially if the star struck when camera's were around)
2. stand to make some money selling the story
3. being punched, shot or run over with a car or horse by a sheriff - archaic
4. are dead.
"John walked through the cornfield and was star struck. Since nothing remains to be buried, a memorial service will be held Wednesday."

Disclaimer. Andrea's Brain and related thought processes cannot be reproduced or copied unless this is the sci-fi future or a William Gibson novel.